My Massive Feelings by Laurie Weeks

Dear Sylvia Plath :

    

      Hi I am 14 and I know you're dead but it's 1AM and my dad is swearing and falling around in the pool like a drunken pork sausage,what a fucking asshole,I was standing in the kitchen two seconds ago with a butcher knife to go kill him before he shoots us to death,but I chickened out,which I know your dad was a problem too so I could totally relate to your poems about how he's a Nazi who kept you living in his boot even though I basically hated poetry until this minute,so I'm just writing this fake letter because NOW HE'S GETTING OUT OF THE POOL LIKE A MONSTER AND SAYING FUCK,Jesus Christ Sylvia,if you could hear him,it's like he's not even human. Now he just massively fell back in,Achtung you Nazi motherfucker,just drown and get it over with so I can RELAX. Listen,Sylvia,I can't believe you stuck your head in that oven,you crazy nut!I'm completely terrified to die,even though vastly depressed. There is so little time in this life to do what you want,more on that later.

   I had to look out the window because it got all quiet but he's just slumped over in the grass like an ape. It's sad but Fuck him. Anyway,Sylvia,I've been tortured about dying for years,ever since reading Little Women made me realize we're all doomed and ruined my life. But,one day however,I opened your book THE BELL JAR and literally died of shock. For the first time I saw someone in a book portraying emotions that were exactly mine,I never even knew it was okay to write about them!I never would have figured it out all by myself. Like when you said how the tulips were breathing I realized I always saw them breathing too but I was in denial. Oh my god I fucking HATE feeling bad for him after he just scared the shit out of me all night,I try not to but I can't handle him being all lonely in the grass like that,he seems so ashamed and confused,like he doesn't know what's happening and no one can help. I don't want him to slip and die for real,just knock himself out a little so I can sleep. Even though then I'll dream he's chasing us with the gun but whatever. I always want to tell him don't worry,it's not your fault,everyone loves you,we'll figure out how to make it stop. But I CAN'T,being insane and not human when he's like this you can't get him to make sense,plus no way am I going out there alone,he's like a bear who never learned English and seems sweet and nice when you pet him,but all of a sudden you feel a fang in your brain and a massive cracking sound blasts your eyes out,as slowly you realize your head is being crushed to death in his rampaging jaws!

    Sylvia,there's so much to express but it's a school night,I will tell you more later,IF I am still alive tomorrow. How perfect would it be if my dad killed me tonight and they found this letter under my body,all smeared with blood!!